It is a bit too long but please read and give advice
I am nearly 15 now. The thing is that I guess my family doesn't trust me.. last year April they started sending me for tuition (disregarding my opinion) saying it is nice as I would get friends. Ok. I asked them if they would allow me to go there by cycle. They agreed. I asked if I could take the bus to there. That too was accepted. So I kinda was ok going for tuition. However, when they made me join there, they did not let me go by bus or cycle. Everyone else there except one another person came there on their own. This other person was my mother's friend's daughter. They have discussions like how dangerous it is to let their 'children' (14 years old) go on their own
Around the same time, mother and grandmother made me wear dresses that was uncomfortable and did my hair which I didn't like. I told them to let me do those myself as I was already about 14 at the time. Mother argued that if I keep my hair untied or not in those childish hairstyles she did on me, it would generate anger among the teachers. I also requested that I could just go and come at the right time on my own, and I was just too old to be held by hands and walked to the centre.
She went and cried telling my grandmother how I don't 'want her'. Grandmother showed terrible attitude towards me and muttered things like "only thirteen years old and wants independence! Shameless!" And mother told me that if I ever again ask her for independence or going out on my own, she will never come as my mother. She said that if I wished to do things on my own, God will hear it and will kill all of them and I will be orphaned.
Some months later i again ask if I could go on my own, saying everyone else does. She says I am her only child so she can't afford to lose me.. ya, other parents don't care for their children right? I tell her that there are other single child who go out on their own, and she replies they are boys. I told her that I won't go away to anywhere else and that she can trust me, she says that it's not me that she doesn't trust but the society. Again I ask and she tells me to ask other children in my class wheather they like to take bus or be dropped and picked. Then these whole months of 9th grade, she didn't allow me to go alone to the tuition centre, and arranged an auto rikshaw to come back. It costed 1000 rupees per month. If I had taken the bus, I would be 150 rupees a month. She occassionally says things like "who in your class would have these many clothes!" Or like that.
You know, on normal school days I used to get off at a stop near to the tuition centre at evenings with two other girls. If they aren't coming for tuition, she told me to get off at my house , and she would take me for the tuition. Can't I even walk on my own? I won't be running away for sure if you don't hold my hands! But no! She says it like "isn't it fun coming with me!" Or "we are holding hands like friends". Ok. But it is fun going alone too, and you know, alone doesn't mean I don't have parents or they don't love me. If I am given a chance to go alone, it just give me a satisfaction that I am not a complete fool and I too am capable. Speaking of capable, I am growing more and more the opposite, I can't speak to anyone through phone or irl when my family is listening, I don't pretend it, I kinda panic I guess..
9th grade ended and 10th started. For 10th, there is no school bus through every route. I just hoped I would be able to take private bus. Mother too was ok with it, though grandmother said it is dangerous. I was happy, and just for safety told my mother not to pay school bus fees as we won't be having school bus through our route and it will be an absolute loss of 2000 rupees. She too agreed and told my grandmother I do need to grow up and will she be coming with me forever to wherever I go? Everything going happily, and mother took a photo of bus timings. At 3:20, there was a bus from (suppose) Point A(school) to Point C passing through point B(tuition centre) and thereafter Point A to point B. Tuition is at 4 pm. She realised that there is a school bus to point C too. She then started saying that it is veeeeryyyy dangerous place to go alone. Ya I do not have any common sense right? I told her it is not profitable to use schoolbus as she need to drop me at school every morning anyway. She doesn't listen. She told me there is no bus to Point C at that time. WTH do I need to get on a bus to point C to get off at point B anyway? I told her I would catch the bus at 3:20. She said I won't be able to catch it. School ends at 3:10 pm. I am a turtle right? It takes me HOURS to walk to the bus stop 100 metres away.. one other boy from the tuition centre was school bus, so she didn't bother sending me through route bus. One other girl was not school bus and was in out tuition centre but she is "Bad" character.
My grandmother doesn't trust me in another room either! She would call me if I go to bathroom for 5 minutes. I am not allowed to get out of the house. When I went to terrace (rooftop) to get some air, she followed and told me to come back. I refused. She asked me wheather she could trust me and go downstairs. She told me not to jumb down. Ya why would I? The same person bathed me regularly till 11 1/2 years old and my mother last bathed me when I was 13. Isn't something really wrong here?
Also they talk bad about the children who come on their own.
Mother say it's 'care' and not lack of love but very much love.
Don't lie to yourself, you know it yourself that you are being overprotective
Mother said there is no place to walk in the road and bus people will scold us. Why? Am I that bad? She said other children can all deal with it and I won't be. She told me If I don't WANT her She will LEAVE and Won't live anymore.
Please say some suggestions people..
Sorry for making it too long, I typed for one hour out of anger and frustration
I am nearly 15 now. The thing is that I guess my family doesn't trust me.. last year April they started sending me for tuition (disregarding my opinion) saying it is nice as I would get friends. Ok. I asked them if they would allow me to go there by cycle. They agreed. I asked if I could take the bus to there. That too was accepted. So I kinda was ok going for tuition. However, when they made me join there, they did not let me go by bus or cycle. Everyone else there except one another person came there on their own. This other person was my mother's friend's daughter. They have discussions like how dangerous it is to let their 'children' (14 years old) go on their own
Around the same time, mother and grandmother made me wear dresses that was uncomfortable and did my hair which I didn't like. I told them to let me do those myself as I was already about 14 at the time. Mother argued that if I keep my hair untied or not in those childish hairstyles she did on me, it would generate anger among the teachers. I also requested that I could just go and come at the right time on my own, and I was just too old to be held by hands and walked to the centre.
She went and cried telling my grandmother how I don't 'want her'. Grandmother showed terrible attitude towards me and muttered things like "only thirteen years old and wants independence! Shameless!" And mother told me that if I ever again ask her for independence or going out on my own, she will never come as my mother. She said that if I wished to do things on my own, God will hear it and will kill all of them and I will be orphaned.
Some months later i again ask if I could go on my own, saying everyone else does. She says I am her only child so she can't afford to lose me.. ya, other parents don't care for their children right? I tell her that there are other single child who go out on their own, and she replies they are boys. I told her that I won't go away to anywhere else and that she can trust me, she says that it's not me that she doesn't trust but the society. Again I ask and she tells me to ask other children in my class wheather they like to take bus or be dropped and picked. Then these whole months of 9th grade, she didn't allow me to go alone to the tuition centre, and arranged an auto rikshaw to come back. It costed 1000 rupees per month. If I had taken the bus, I would be 150 rupees a month. She occassionally says things like "who in your class would have these many clothes!" Or like that.
You know, on normal school days I used to get off at a stop near to the tuition centre at evenings with two other girls. If they aren't coming for tuition, she told me to get off at my house , and she would take me for the tuition. Can't I even walk on my own? I won't be running away for sure if you don't hold my hands! But no! She says it like "isn't it fun coming with me!" Or "we are holding hands like friends". Ok. But it is fun going alone too, and you know, alone doesn't mean I don't have parents or they don't love me. If I am given a chance to go alone, it just give me a satisfaction that I am not a complete fool and I too am capable. Speaking of capable, I am growing more and more the opposite, I can't speak to anyone through phone or irl when my family is listening, I don't pretend it, I kinda panic I guess..
9th grade ended and 10th started. For 10th, there is no school bus through every route. I just hoped I would be able to take private bus. Mother too was ok with it, though grandmother said it is dangerous. I was happy, and just for safety told my mother not to pay school bus fees as we won't be having school bus through our route and it will be an absolute loss of 2000 rupees. She too agreed and told my grandmother I do need to grow up and will she be coming with me forever to wherever I go? Everything going happily, and mother took a photo of bus timings. At 3:20, there was a bus from (suppose) Point A(school) to Point C passing through point B(tuition centre) and thereafter Point A to point B. Tuition is at 4 pm. She realised that there is a school bus to point C too. She then started saying that it is veeeeryyyy dangerous place to go alone. Ya I do not have any common sense right? I told her it is not profitable to use schoolbus as she need to drop me at school every morning anyway. She doesn't listen. She told me there is no bus to Point C at that time. WTH do I need to get on a bus to point C to get off at point B anyway? I told her I would catch the bus at 3:20. She said I won't be able to catch it. School ends at 3:10 pm. I am a turtle right? It takes me HOURS to walk to the bus stop 100 metres away.. one other boy from the tuition centre was school bus, so she didn't bother sending me through route bus. One other girl was not school bus and was in out tuition centre but she is "Bad" character.
My grandmother doesn't trust me in another room either! She would call me if I go to bathroom for 5 minutes. I am not allowed to get out of the house. When I went to terrace (rooftop) to get some air, she followed and told me to come back. I refused. She asked me wheather she could trust me and go downstairs. She told me not to jumb down. Ya why would I? The same person bathed me regularly till 11 1/2 years old and my mother last bathed me when I was 13. Isn't something really wrong here?
Also they talk bad about the children who come on their own.
Mother say it's 'care' and not lack of love but very much love.
Don't lie to yourself, you know it yourself that you are being overprotective
Mother said there is no place to walk in the road and bus people will scold us. Why? Am I that bad? She said other children can all deal with it and I won't be. She told me If I don't WANT her She will LEAVE and Won't live anymore.
Please say some suggestions people..
Sorry for making it too long, I typed for one hour out of anger and frustration
