the way of chess

What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!

What do you call a wizard that has run out of spells?
A was-ard!

Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was intense!

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Eye-matey!

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?
Find out after the break.

What do you call a large animal from Africa that lets its hair grow?
A hippy-potamus!

My girlfriend says she needs time and distance. Is she calculating velocity?

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!